In a medium sized pot, boil pasta in salted water until just barely al dente. Transfer pasta to a colander and rinse under cold water until chilled. Drain thoroughly.

While pasta is cooking, prepare the rest of the salad. To a large bowl (I like to use a large stainless steel bowl), add ham, cheese, celery, green pepper, onion, pickle relish, peas, optional parsley, and a few good cranks of freshly ground black pepper. Add prepared pasta. Fold gently to combine.

In a medium bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, sweetened condensed milk, vinegar, and kosher salt. Pour dressing over salad ingredients in large bowl. Fold to incorporate. Chill for a couple hours. Fold again right before serving.